The Stickler Standard – The Official David Stickler Lifestyle Codex

01The Culinary Corner

On the matter of the Sourdough Jack

David takes his fast food the way a sommelier takes a 1982 Bordeaux: seriously, and with strong opinions about what does not belong in it. Below, the order, formalized.

Order Ticket #SOUR-JACK-001DRIVE-THRU · MESA

Sourdough Jack

NO TOMATO
everything else, as the Lord intended

Hot Ones Buffalo Chick-N-Tater Melt

spice level: confident
the tater stays. always.

Substitutions reviewed by committee. Tomato requests escalated to management.

Tomato Compliance Console

Simulate a kitchen error. We do not recommend it.

The Sourdough Jack is structurally sound and tomato-free. David nods, once. You may proceed to the second window.

02The RV Lifestyle

The 3-3-3 rule, observed religiously

David does not drive into the sunset. David drives until exactly 3 PM, having covered no more than 300 miles in no more than 3 hours, and then he sets up camp like a man who has read the manual cover to cover. Twice.

3hours

Maximum time behind the wheel. The eleventh hour is for other, lesser campers.

300miles

Not 301. The trip was planned in a spreadsheet with conditional formatting.

3 PMarrival

Camp is set, the awning is out, and the camp chair is occupied before happy hour.

Pre-departure inventory

Fishing rodsNever, ever forgotten. This is his whole brand.
Tackle, organized by occasionBass anxiety is a real thing he manages well.
Backup rod for the backup rodIn case the first two are somehow not enough.
Spare rod, ceremonialPurely for emotional security.
Literally anything elseTBD. The rods made the cut. Everyone relax.

03The Sommelier's Secret

In pursuit of the WSET diploma

As a card-carrying Premier Crew member at the Napa Valley Wine Academy, David studies wine, spirits, and beer with the intensity of a man who intends to win an argument at a future dinner party. Flip a flashcard. He already knows the answer.

04The Stanley Obsession

A gallery of green, ranked by loyalty

Stanley 1913 has made gear since the Titanic was a current event, and David owns a representative sample. Each unit keeps ice for an irresponsibly long time and keeps his standards even longer.

#01

The Adventure Quencher

40 oz

Daily carry. Has its own cupholder in the truck. The truck does not have a cupholder for David.

#02

The Classic Legendary Bottle

1.5 qt

Vacuum-sealed since 1913, allegedly older than his oldest grudge about tomatoes.

#03

The Cold-for-Days Cooler

65 qt

Keeps wine, beer, and spirits at exam-tasting temperature for the full 3-3-3 voyage.

#04

The IceFlow Jug

1 gal

For campsite hydration and the occasional impromptu blind tasting.

#05

The Backup Cooler

30 qt

Because the main cooler is for food and the backup is for principles.

#06

The One He Won't Discuss

??? qt

Acquired under circumstances. We don't ask. He doesn't tell. It's green.

05Mesa's Most Wanted

The man, the standard, the missing tomato

A brief and entirely affectionate dossier on the subject of this codex.

OccupationWeekly Culinary Meeting regular. Title unconfirmed; authority absolute.

CredentialsNapa Valley Wine Academy Premier Crew. WSET diploma: in progress, in earnest.

Travels byRV, strictly 3-3-3. Arrives by 3 PM or not at all.

Recently spottedChris Brown: Breezy Bowl XX at Chase Field. Yes, that happened.

Grounds maintenanceStanding landscaper appointments. The lawn meets the standard too.

Next of kinLiam, currently between Roundups (the 2nd was a success).

Emergency Sourdough Jack Consultations

Found a tomato where one should not be? Unsure which wine pairs with curly fries at a campsite? David is, against all advice, reachable.

1-480-322-9485

Hours: whenever a sandwich is in jeopardy. Mesa, AZ.